Yesterday we transformed our house into a “spa” so that seventeen girls between the ages of three and twelve could come together to celebrate Elisabeth’s 10th birthday. Since we are a large-ish family and especially due to the fact that all our birthdays save my own fall between the months of February and July, my children know that they may expect a special birthday party when they turn five, and again when they turn ten.

So as you may have already guessed, Elisabeth has been plotting and planning for this party for a long time. Years, even.

We tossed around many ideas as the day drew closer. But it was my mention of “let’s ask our friend if she would be willing to do fancy hairstyles, and we could paint nails, too!” that caused her eyes to light up and sparkle. We had found our party theme.

What began with hair and nails quickly snowballed into a spa theme complete with facials, makeup, and goodie bags for each girl filled with a hair clip, lip gloss, nail polish and a bath bomb.

Yeah…it was involved.

And I didn’t mind one bit. It was a pleasure for me to plan, bake, clean, prepare and set up for this pretty, sparkly, special occasion. Elisabeth is such a help to me and has become such a delightful companion. She works hard here at home, helping with Anna and the other children, doing her chores and school work, and really just being my right hand. I can trust her to throw a last-minute meal together, help with setting up when we are entertaining, get younger children ready to leave the house, and on and on the list goes. At (almost) ten years of age, there is a dwindling list of my tasks here in our home that she has not yet mastered. And so I wanted her to know how very thankful I am that she is a part of our family!

So here are some snapshots from the day.

The picture above and below are of Martha Stewart decorations that I found at a local discount store. What would usually cost an arm and a leg was just a few dollars and definitely added color and sparkle to the day. They also happened to be just the colors of pink and blue that we were using for the party.

Beautiful tulips. Lovely and very affordable at this time of year!

If you are a “regular” here or over at my mother’s blog, you may know that we have agreed to put on a dessert reception for my brother’s wedding. For me, to take on such a momentous project involves ideas, brainstorming, and PRACTICE! Birthdays and church events have been the perfect opportunities to test my new skills, but this birthday party was my first real success. Colors, taste and technique all came together beautifully and the girls were thrilled with the results.

The cupcake wrappers are made from scrapbook paper with a die cut that fits my small Sizzix machine. The cake pops were made using a special baking pan (I am not a fan of the crumbled-cake-mixed-with-frosting-rolled-by-hand cake balls…too sweet and too much work!), dipped into colored candy melts (and a tablespoon of Crisco!), and then coated with sprinkles or drizzled with a contrasting color. To display them, I popped a half sphere of floral foam into a round tin, covered it with white tissue paper, and then stuck on a few paper flowers (the kind made for scrapbooking or card making).

Sweet Elisabeth, thoroughly enjoying her special day!

Seventeen lovely ladies, all dolled up (and sugared up too!). My husband took one look at this photo and said “Wow, that’s a lot of little girls!”

Personally, I love homemade occasions. There is an added dimension of meaning and beauty to the day that simply can’t be found at Chuckie Cheese. It’s certainly true that it’s more work, and I’m not sure I even saved much money, but there’s just something about making the house sparkle, pulling out special dishes, putting on music, arranging flowers, and setting things up “just so” for guests that satisfies something deep inside my mommy-heart. Watching Elisabeth flutter between the basket of favors, the antique ironing board which served as a buffet for the cupcakes and cake pops, and the “spa” stations, taking a moment here and there to glance up at the lovely decorations, her eyes sparkling with expectation, made every minute of preparation worth it.

Note about cake pops: I found this ragingly popular little treat to have a steep learning curve. I spent a lot of time researching the process and decorating ideas online and in a couple of books. I don’t plan to do a step-by-step blog entry on how to make cake pops, but I will share a few key tips. If you use a cake pop baking pan or appliance, make the cake batter more dense by adding an extra egg, a box of instant pudding mix, and by switching out the cup of water for 3/4 cup of milk. When placing sticks into the cake balls, dip them first into melted candy. Use a double boiler to melt candy or chocolate, a moderately small one where the top pan can be easily tilted for dipping. Mix in Crisco, about a teaspoon at a time, until the consistency is runny enough to easily drizzle but thick enough to coat. Do not use white chocolate, it is fussy and clumps easily. If you color white (vanilla) candy melts, use oil based candy coloring. Freeze pops for at least 10 minutes before decorating. When coating the pop, cover a little of the top of the stick so pop will remain secure when candy hardens. Tap stick gently against edge of pan to shake off excess candy while twirling to keep coating even. If applying decoration, allow coating to harden for a minute or so first so that the weight of the sprinkles, etc. don’t drag the coating off. A cake pop decorating stand (or two) can be very useful to allow pops to harden completely (Wilton makes a sturdy and inexpensive one). The best book I found for decorating ideas and clear instructions was “Crazy for Cake Pops” by Molly Bakes. And yes. Bakes is her actual last name. Her book was the best because it lists sources and websites for all supplies and decorations, has the best variety of shapes and styles, and had beautiful pictures for every idea listed.

www.countryliving.com

A friend asked me recently what kinds of gifts I seek out for my children for Christmas. And while such a list will have much in common with my recent post of Homeschooling with Sensory Integration Issues, I thought it would be fun to toss out there.

Especially where my children are concerned, I approach gift giving with intention and purpose. The season’s popular and trendy plastic toys rarely have any bearing on my selections. Throughout the year, I collect such treasures as will serve to open their eyes to beauty and wonder, feed their minds, and cause their hearts and souls to blossom. Perhaps you have never thought a Christmas gift could serve such a high purpose, but it can! By keeping to such a high standard, I attempt to place before my children all that is bright and lovely, good and delightful, thought-provoking and excellent, for the purpose of raising intelligent and imaginative young men and women who are rich in soul and well equipped to proclaim the gospel to a dark world.

Necessary but Novel

Clothing: Perhaps something a little nicer or less “necessary” than my typical purchases throughout the year. A pretty dress for the girls, fun shoes or slippers, cozy fleece sweatshirts for the boys, fuzzy bathrobes, sweaters, and of course outerwear such as coats, snowsuits, boots, hats, mittens, scarves, and gloves.

School Supplies: Pencils, pens, erasers, pencil cases, fresh notebooks…and again, maybe nicer or more novel than our August run to Wal-Mart.

Educational but Exciting

Books: Of course! Books always feature prominently under our tree. We purchase books throughout the year, but Christmas selections tend to be special…beautifully illustrated picture books, sets of a classic series, bright and fun books on a subject such as science or history. Even the baby gets a classic board book or two! A child’s first Bible makes an excellent gift. For an older child, a study Bible or commentary might be appropriate.

Art and Craft Supplies: Stockings bulge with sets of quality colored pencils and drawing pencils, packages of modeling clay, cray pas, crayons and chalk. And for under the tree? Sketchpads, easels and rolls of paper, paint sets, smocks, bead sets, mosaic kits, model magic, sewing kits, and various craft kits.

Music and Musical Instruments: CD’s! We try to seek out wonderful and inspiring music for our children to listen to…classical, folk music, scripture songs, and learning songs are favorites.  “Band Box” sets (for example, a drum with shakers, bells, rhythm sticks, and a triangle), an acoustic or electric guitar, sheet music, a harmonica, and any range of real instruments that a child might take interest in, though such a purchase tends to be a major one and is less likely to be something we choose as a Christmas gift.

Educational Toys and Supplies: Science kits, Geosafari, educational software, flashcards and activity cards, puzzle and activity books (mazes, word search, crossword, paper airplanes), instructional books and kits (how to draw, how to do oragami, cookbooks, historical paper dolls),  board games, magnet sets, a microscope or telescope, and a host of various toys and gifts that could fall under the banner of “learning”. What we tend to avoid from this category: toys that light up or make lots of crazy and artificial-sounding noises (or really that require batteries at all).

Museum Memberships: Science Museums, Art Museums, Living History Museums, Children’s Museums…a gift the whole family can enjoy throughout the year! These are also great to hint at to family members who might be looking to give your whole family a special gift instead of an individual gift for each person.

Playful and Practical

Classic Toys: Wooden building blocks, wooden train sets, dolls and doll clothes (American Girl is admittedly a favorite in our house. Barbie is…ahem…simply not), pull-toys and other classic baby toys for the tiniest around the tree, a dollhouse with furniture and people, tinker toys and lincoln logs, a kaleidoscope, etch a sketch, magnadoodle, marbles, matchbox cars, trucks, pick up sticks, kites.

Imaginative Play: Dress up clothes, play kitchens (we have selected durable wood over garish plastic), play food (again, we try to choose delightful cloth and wood items over plastic, though well-made plastic  fruits or vegetables have certainly made their way into the mix), play dishes (I found a wonderful set at IKEA made from real stoneware), magnetic dress-up dolls, doctor’s kits, playmobil and lego sets (examples of plastic toys that are freely welcomed in our home!), a child-size table and chairs, erector sets and other building sets (one of my boys particularly likes the sets with lots of parts and bolts and screws with clear, comprehensible instructions for making multiple creations).

Staying Active: Sports equipment such as balls and gloves, bikes and scooters, and skates.

Real-Life Stuff: Tool sets, cooking utensils and equipment, items for a teen girl’s “hope chest”…all excellent examples of gifts that aren’t “toys” but are real and useful and yet still thoroughly fun to receive as a gift.

Plugged In

Electronics: MP3 players, watches, clock radios and cd players, digital cameras and walkie-talkies are all electronics that have found a place under our tree. As children get older (perhaps much older!), gifts such as a new cell phone or laptop may become appropriate.

Movies: We love to watch movies as a family and are always on the lookout for quality, family-friendly films that are well-produced and contain good acting. We don’t care for sappy or overly-silly movies. Movies are an intensely visual and stimulating experience…so when I sit my kids down in front of that screen, I am intentional about what they are viewing. Some of our favorites are films where a literary classic is brought to life, such as an Austen or Dickens novels. Do we let our children watch these films even though children aren’t the target audience? Absolutely! Think outside the box when it comes to what your children watch, and you will train their tastes and appetites for movie-watching for a lifetime! However, gifts of DVDs under the tree tend to be more geared towards children. Favorites? The Narnia Series, Anne of Green Gables, Babe, Nim’s Island, Dolphin Tale, Charlotte’s Web (live action version), Stuart Little, and Wind in the Willows.

Is this list comprehensive? No. Does this mean I’ve never bought a cheaply made plastic toy for my children? No, of course not. But I think you get the idea, and I hope this list either encourages you to keep giving your children gifts of quality, beauty and usefulness, or inspires you to begin! A don’t think that making such choices necessitates spending a lot. I can promise you that it doesn’t! Some tips for keeping cost down:

Shop throughout the year. Keep a big opaque bin or box away from where your children will nose through it and place gifts in it whenever you happen to find them, even if it’s the day after Christmas!

Shop thrift shops and consignment stores.

Look for clearance and sale items.

and…most importantly…

GIVE. THEM. LESS. STUFF! Keep the message of Christmas clear by resisting the urge to obscure it with piles of stuff, much of which is likely to break before the following year’s Christmas season begins. They might not like it at first, but you will be training their hearts to be satisfied with less, to appreciate what is of real value and beauty, and to keep Jesus the focus of your family’s celebration of the season.

Happy Giving!

cincinnatichristianmoms.com

It’s that time again.

My husband claims that in the retail industry, “Back to School” is a season. One of the six holiday seasons, to be more specific. Right up there with Christmas, Easter, and Valentine’s Day.

One of my favorite lines from the movie “You’ve Got Mail” is when Tom Hanks is emailing Meg Ryan that he would like to send her “a bouquet of sharpened pencils” if he knew her name and address.

What is it about this season of school supplies and new clothes that gets us so giddy and excited? It does me, at least. That taste of approaching autumn in the air, the hint of yellow in some of the leaves, the feeling that the last days of summer are slipping away. There’s just something about cracking open a brand new book or notepad…something about a freshly sharpened pencil. It’s not just the getting of new stuff. It’s not just admiring the pile of colorful crayons and workbooks without creases and clothes with the tags on them. The whole process oozes newness and something fresh.

And then it hit me. “Back to School” is a homeschooling mom’s New Year. A time to start over. To put those long days of last year behind me, with their mistakes and blunders. The days I didn’t feel well and was snappy and grouchy with the kids. The days when I lost sight of my goals and ideals and didn’t press in…didn’t try as hard as I should have. The getting behind, the giving up, the days I gave in to despair. Every homeschooling mom has these moments. For some of us it can be more like weeks or months…or maybe even the whole year.

The start of a new school year offers us hope. Those new books, the revised schedule, the organized shelves of binders and supplies. Our hearts sing as we survey our setup, however simple or makeshift, and we think to ourselves “this is it! This is the year that we pull it together and make a real go of this lifestyle of learning at home!”

And you know what? It just might be. So don’t give up, don’t give in. Treat this time as though it were your “New Year”…make some resolutions! What will you resolve for this year?

Some of my resolutions are:

1) Love

I resolve above all to love my children, and to pour myself out for them each day as unselfishly as I possibly can. To remember how fleeting and fragile our days are, and that soon these sweet ones will be gone from my nurture and care.

2) Ideals

I noticed a great deal of wavering and uncertainty on my part over the last couple years. A loosening of my grip on those core ideals and values that have shaped our family. A gradual sliding down the proverbial slippery slope. Lots of excuses, and lots of dark days plagued with guilt, fear, and sadness. Some of that was physical and unavoidable…having a baby will do that to you. Having five in eight years will really do that to you. Yet I know that there were times when I was listening to lies, despairing when I could have been filled with joy and peace. Sometimes all it takes is the lighting of a candle or putting on some happy, life-giving music. Utilizing wisdom in planning, getting adequate rest, and being watchful over our health in what we eat and how we move about. These are tools that support and enable our ideals. Above all, to retain that tight grip on all of my convictions about life, faith, love, and beauty.

3) Faith

I can’t pass on to my children what I don’t possess. Quite honestly, if I’m not willing to wake up earlier in the morning so that I can spend some time with God and hear him speak to me through his Word…speak back to him in heartfelt prayer…then really, I am wasting my time. My words of encouragement and discipleship will be hollow and hypocritical. Y’all know what I’m talking about. Enough said. I resolve to make it happen.

4) Create

I passed up so many opportunities in past years to engage in the creative process with my children. To make, to build, to cook. We did more last Spring than we’ve ever done before, and are determined to forge ahead with fulfilling the cultural mandate here within our home. I must get past the cringing over the messes, and the total lack of craftsmanship on the part of my children…and just let them go for it. Get our hands dirty, have some fun, and cReAtE!!

5) Think

My oldest is in fourth grade this year. A transitional grade, to be sure. Moving toward more independent work, longer lessons, more formality and structure. And yet I long to maintain that relaxed atmosphere of natural learning…the hands-on, the free discussions, the light-hearted spirit of our pursuit of knowledge. A tightrope lies before me this year…keep the learning exciting and engaging, while pressing each one “farther up and further in”…can we dig a little deeper? Remember a little more? Make a few more connections? Explore and expound and express…MORE?

My answer to all of this is…YES!

“I am, I can, I ought, I will…” (children’s motto, House of Education, Ambleside)

Got any resolutions of your own?

I am sitting here…a recurrent theme of the last week or so of my life.

Last Thursday I went in to the hospital for a long-planned laparoscopic ventral hernia repair. (Whew!)

I was well coached on what to expect. Three incisions, bruising around the work area, side effects from anesthesia and pain medication. The procedure went very smoothly, and I was home in a matter of hours, dealing with pain and nausea, but thankful that it was behind me without any major drama or complication.

What doesn’t go smoothly is keeping a mother of five confined to a bed or chair for a week wrapped up in a three-foot-long piece of velcro. I fidget. I fuss. I stare at every pile of unfolded laundry, every cobweb, every dusty fixture and dirty dish. And I start to twitch.

I long to scoop my baby girl up into my arms, to run to the next room to break up a fight, to spend two hours in the kitchen preparing a feast, and yes…I even want to do laundry.

I know that “this too shall pass”…that before I can blink an eye I will be back in full swing, running the show and pulling it all together, finding bandaids for scratches and the doll’s missing shoe, listening to tearful explanations of why it’s “not fair”, chopping and boiling and paring and baking, washing and folding, scrubbing and sweeping.

And until then, I find quiet things to occupy the time, like menu planning and preparing lessons, reading, catching up on correspondence, and yes…watching television. And a small part of me sees the benefit of a forced term of rest. Though plenty fidgety, I am overall less tense. More apt to snag a child passing by for a hug and a chat. Less yelling and shouting (it strains the incisions, you know) and more hushed tones. Appreciative of my husband’s help, thankful for the support of family and friends, humbled by my need for assistance.

Anna in the stroller at the amusement park

In other news, life has paraded forward here in our home despite my negligence in this corner of the internet. Anna has turned one…baby becoming toddler, exploring every corner of the house, tentative steps across the room to the tune of wild cheering and applause (she has quite the audience you know). These last months of babyhood will pass by so swiftly, and I cling to each moment as precious and fleeting.

Faith approves of David’s driving…fully enjoying the bumper cars!

Faith is now six, as much a firecracker as ever. Our celebration this year was quiet in nature, as the 4th fell two days after our return from a fun and fabulous family vacation at the beach. What with all the ice cream and boardwalk fries, hours of larking in sand and sea, late movie nights and scouring the shops for that one special toy, I felt that we were a little partied-out. So we celebrated our vibrant and affectionate girl with a small, subdued family cookout and some pink, girlie presents.

As I go through my days, ideas for posts drift in and out of my mind, along with reminders to self about calls to return, items to add to the shopping list, projects that need to be done, and so forth. I seek to find balance in all things, including these pages where I attempt to create a nook of thought and beauty, encouragement and grace, and stones of remembrance to mark our days. It’s an outlet for me, creative and emotive, and I enjoy it. However, once I begin to pressure myself to stay on top of those birthday posts or produce X amount of posts per month, this spot of self-expression ceases to be a delight and becomes duty…a chore…a drain on my energy.

So all that to say, it’s quite likely that I will continue to be a sporadic, intermittent blogger. And maybe having said that outright will serve to release me from any pressure I feel and help me to strike that balance in yet another area of my life…the battle that continues to rage here…body, mind and soul.

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us”

– J.R.R. Tolkien (The Fellowship of the Ring)

New items coming soon!

www.realsimple.com

My mother is assembling a post about homeschooling the severely ADHD child, so I quickly typed up a list of ideas and resources that I have encountered in my own homeschooling journey and sent it off to her. We both agreed that I should write my own post and that she would link to it. We are raising our children over 30 years apart, and my children have different issues than my brother did (does). Because we in our family have a wider representation of “spectrum ticks”/sensory integration issues, I have a bit of a different take on home education with this genre of special needs. So here is my very quickly assembled list of ideas…a rather random stream of consciousness, and I do apologize for the lack of organization!

1. Environment

Make your child’s room is as comfortable, neat, and cheerful as possible. My boys have a set of bunkbeds, a dresser, and a small rocking chair in their room, and some clothes hanging in the closet. There is little else in the room. I have tried to provide them with soft pillows and sheets and cozy blankets, and the room is colorful and cheery without an overwhelming amount of pattern or loud colors. Messes overwhelm, frustrate and discourage. An organized and tidy space is a great comfort to any child, but especially one who struggles with these issues.

Clothing should be as soft and comfortable as possible. Tagless t-shirts are a great help, and I have had to buy jeans and pants that have a better fit to them (slims for my slender children, for example). Too tight, too short, too baggy…all these are bothersome and can cause the child to be uncomfortable and become upset or agitated. Take your child shopping with you, even to yard sales and thrift stores, and involve them in choosing their wardrobe.

School supplies, toys and activities should be organized and clearly labeled if your child is old enough to have free access to them. A student binder with clearly labeled dividers and pockets, as well as a well-prepared weekly assignment sheet are helpful, as are various checklists inside pocket protectors that can be checked off throughout the day with a dry erase marker. Look into a system of workboxes…this “sequential” system works so well with an ADHD child.

Don’t underestimate the effect that a beautiful, comfortable home environment has on your child. And by that I don’t mean magazine perfect…I mean intentionally surrounding yourself with loveliness and beauty, music and flowers, art and literature. Such a pleasant and nurturing atmosphere has a profound impact on our children.

2. Meals, Snacks and Nutrition

All children benefit from regular, healthful meals and snacks, but you may find that your child is particularly sensitive to poor or inadequate nutrition. My children are much less fussy and pay better attention during lessons when we make a concerted effort to eat well and at roughly the same times each day.

Your child may also benefit from vitamins and supplements that enhance brain function or from enzymes that help them process certain foods. Sorting through all the research on this topic can be arduous and overwhelming, so take it a little bit at a time, keeping a file or notebook on findings that may be helpful for your child.

All children benefit from plenty of clean water, fresh air and sunshine. Make sure your child has an abundance of all three.

3. An Active Lifestyle for Active Children

This is where yard sales and consignment shops can especially come in handy. Soccer balls, frisbees, roller blades, a basketball hoop, baseball bat/ball/glove, a trampoline, swingset, etc…all these can provide your active child with hours of productive play and practice. Not only is the exercise beneficial, but many of these activities improve agility and hand/eye coordination, and can also provide an opportunity for siblings to play pleasantly together.

4. “Real” Toys

Now I’m not saying that my kids don’t own any plastic or battery operated toys. However, I am very intentional and specific when I give gift suggestion to family and friends or when I myself am shopping for a child’s birthday or Christmas. Learning toys, art supplies, dress up clothes and “pretend” toys such as play kitchen food and dishes or a doctor’s kit, blocks, well-made cars and trucks, baby dolls, a sturdy dollhouse with furniture and a family of little people, playmobil sets, magnadoodles…all these and more have found a home in our playroom. As much as possible, we select high quality and beautifully made toys that will last.

Buildings sets and educational toys such as electronic sets and science kits are also wonderful for the active and curious child. We prefer smaller sets that make something specific, such as a lego truck or a megablocks car. Our son gets very frustrated and discouraged with large sets that take hours to finish. Each set is stored separately and labeled clearly, often just in a ziploc freezer bag.

5. Busy Work for Busy Fingers

Though I would recommend choosing a curriculum that utilizes a whole book, literature-based approach, there is a place for workbooks and extra practice booklets, such as logic or math puzzles. Also helpful to occupy your child would be word searches and maze books, paper airplane “how-to” books, craft and activity books, Usborne activity card packs, and instructional art and drawing books. Keep supplies for each book accessible and clearly labeled.

6. Making Connections

Much has been written about brain function and the part it plays in sensory integration issues. I am not an expert, and my research in this area is very incomplete. However, I do know that such things as playing a musical instrument, learning to write in cursive and learning a foreign language can help make connections between the left and right hemispheres of the brain.

There is also much research out there about potential brain damage from too much time in front of screens, especially television and video games. We have slowly built up a home DVD library of quality family-friendly and educational videos, and we don’t do any video games at all. We do, however, use quite a few different educational software programs for the computer.

One of the best recommendations I can make is to invest in an mp3 player for each of your children (age appropriate, of course…I would say maybe at 6 or 7, depending on the child). We load ours up with learning songs, math facts set to classical music, Lyrical Life Science, audio books, classical music, Scripture memory songs, hymns and worship songs, the Westminster Shorter Catechism set to music, Wee Sing songs, Spanish songs, music instruction CD’s, educational podcasts, and the Listener’s Bible. They love to take them in the car, to bed, to rest time…and we love knowing that they are learning and growing in their faith as they listen.

7. Schedule and Routine

Make a family schedule and post it where your children can see it. Yes, it’s just a framework, and no, you probably won’t stick to it 100%, but it provides a rhythm to your days. A weekly menu of meals and snacks is also helpful and can diffuse a lot of the “what’s for dinner, mom?” questions. When children know what comes next and what to expect, it’s a great comfort to them.

8. Love and Affirmation

Give lots of hugs and kisses, words of encouragement, praise and affirmation. Any child responds to these, but a child who is acting out in anger or is holding on to an illogical idea and refuses to give way may be able to be drawn out with affection and a long chat. Take the child aside, apart from siblings, and just spend some time together. Ask questions such as: are you tired? hungry? would you like a hot shower? do you need to talk? can you tell me why you chose to do that? …….often times there is an explanation for irrational or destructive behavior, and though the child needs to be made to see that what was done was wrong, there is often a surprisingly reasonable explanation behind the action or attitude. Avoid threatening or accusatory language such as “what’s wrong with you?” or “why do you always…??”. And when such words do slip out, after you have calmed down…apologize and ask for forgiveness.

9. Research

You could spend just about all day, every day pouring over books and articles and blogs about these issues. You will find a thousand different “whys” and “hows”, instructions and guidelines, education plans and curricula. There are some very hot topics as well…medication or not, professional therapy or not, homeschool or public school, nutrition and supplementation, etc.

I think reading and research are good things. I am all for gathering knowledge and educating ourselves about our child’s needs. But before you go pursuing a degree in Child Development and Sensory Integration, just take a deep breath. Stop and pray about what direction God would have you to take with your children. They need your love, they need a nurturing environment, and they need the stability of your presence with them each day. To know you are there and that you are on their side…cheering them on, encouraging them along the way. This comes first, before charts and checklists and clearly labeled bins. God made this child, and God placed him or her in your arms and in your home. He is at work for your good and his glory. Do not fear. Do not doubt.

I don’t really want to get into to a full discourse on my family’s usage of the Feingold Diet here…I tend to get discouraged when such a major personal decision comes under scrutiny from others. Suffice it to say that we have been on the diet for nearly six years and are still on it, though we have introduced a few foods in the last year to try to lessen the severity of reactions from accidental exposure and environmental contaminants that are outside of our control. I will give a link to the website here because I recommend the program very highly for anyone who is dealing with an aggresive or violent child and does not wish to medicate them. There have been many, many benefits to having one or all of our children on the diet over the years, but the primary reason has always been and will continue to be the safety of our son and those he comes into contact with.

10. Community and Support

Get connected. Find other moms going through the same thing and keep in touch. In this age of email and facebook and texting, one no longer needs to go out and find a local support group that meets once a month in a musty church basesment. You can find an online group, or start one yourself for that matter. I would, however, recommend a Christ-centered group of like-minded moms, because taking advice from the world on how to raise our children can be tremendously risky. Know your needs, too…if you need real arms to hug you and real eyes to look into…real heads to nod as you share your story and real hands to hold, then by all means seek out a local support group!

If you are a mother with a child with “letters attached to their name” (ADHD, OCD, Autism, Tourette’s, Asperger’s, etc.), and especially if you have made the decision to educate that child at home, please don’t overlook your need for support and encouragement. So many are out there, walking this same difficult road, and without a shoulder to cry on and a springboard to bounce ideas off of, I fear you will wear out and lose heart. And to do so would be to squander the gift that has been so gloriously entrusted to you under the guise of “a problem child.” Learn to see with new eyes. Face the difficulties head on, prayerfully and humbly, begging your Maker for patience and guidance and love for these precious ones, and take one little step forward at a time.

When you have a little boy who is…shall we say…very active…a child who has had letters and labels associated with his name, you hold on to certain mantras from other mothers who have come through the trenches of having a child with needs that extend beyond average, every-day parenting (whatever that is). For years now I have clung to some hopeful words from my mother…”it got a lot easier when he was four or five, and around the age of eight he became a delight to me and we had such great times together!”

Today, David turns eight. And he is becoming more of a delight every single day.

He is so clever and so funny. He says the most outrageous things, which he knows will produce a reaction from his peanut gallery of six people. A roll of the eyes…a “no, sir, David!”…peals of laughter, clutched sides and loud groans, opened-mouth shock.

Sure, I could wish for him to change and grow in certain areas, but in the last year he has surprised and delighted me in so many ways. He has become helpful and diligent in many tasks around the house and the yard. He is bright and intelligent, and quick to participate in discussions as we plug away at our studies here at home. He still runs to me now and then, arms open wide, flinging himself into my embrace.

Sometimes I wonder if that twinkle of mischief will ever disappear from those chocolate-brown eyes…and then I think I would be lost if it did.

David is a force to be reckoned with, and I spend much time and effort and prayer focusing on how I am to steward and shape and influence that force. I have spent many days weary and exasperated, frustrated and worried. But from the very start I have been ever captivated by his charms…the sight of those bright eyes and chestnut curls can still melt me. I can be in the throes of mommy-fury over an act of disobedience or carelessness, and then he will launch into a verbose and articulate explanation of “why”…and suddenly I am all grins and giggles.

Happy Birthday, sweet David. I love you dearly.

What do you get when you combine a small child’s birthday with a major family holiday?

A tired mommy.

You also get more joy. More hugs and smiles and laughter. More reason to celebrate, if that is at all possible.

After all, what more reason could you want? The defeat of sin and death and hell for those who belong to Christ. The curse broken, the grave overcome. Those whom the Son sets free are free indeed.

Early morning. A little man-child in soft pajamas with a serious case of bedhead. Still a little sleepy-eyed, he wraps his arms around my neck as I plant a kiss on his cheek. “Good morning, love! Happy Birthday!” I smell of cleaning solution and a thousand tasks yet to be done are calling to me, but I push the thoughts aside to let this wee one know that he is cause for me to celebrate. Precious…a delight to my soul.

Amidst the bustle of preparing house and food for a large family gathering all before leaving for church at 9:30, I also pause to speak some very similar words to Jesus. “You are cause for me to celebrate! I love you! You are a delight to my soul! Thank you for dying for me, for all that this day represents.”

True, I would wish for quiet hours of contemplation and reflection at this time of year. Time to surround myself with sacred Scripture and tomes of deep thought. Quiet to ponder, pray…preparation of heart and mind and soul.

What I found, however, were snatches. Snippets. Moments here and there, tucked and woven into my day. A whispered prayer, a line of a song, a quote. Mommy liturgy.

And so it sometimes is with the hearts I hold dear, the hands that slip into mine for such a fleeting handbreath of time. These little ones, being shaped before my eyes, growing like a garden. Bits of time, minutes here and there…a quick hug, an encouraging look, a shared moment.

Matthew is four today. Barely a trace of “baby” left at all, only little snapshots here and there of a precious time that is fast fading. I would not hold him back, and yet I watch this time draw to a close with resignation and a bit of a pang in my spirit. For of all my “babies”, Matthew has been the sweetest and most tender. The quiet, dreamy, reflective one. The gentle one.

Today was cause for celebration. A birthday and the Resurrection. Feasting, family, worship. Lots of preparation, lots of hard work.

Hopefully, in the morning when my feet hit the floor, I will remember that tomorrow is also cause for celebration. Another day to love. Another day to serve. Hearts and minds to mold and shape. Gospel truths to share. Meals to prepare, a home to tend. Blessing upon blessing upon blessing.

I have long meant to change the blog header, and decided something cheery and colorful that shouts “Spring is finally here!” was in order…

A bit of a risk…seems like it may be too cutesy or cartoon-ish.

But I think I like it. Very much. <smile>

Yet I know that I was greatly encouraged by a similar list in a book that I read recently. I happened to be perusing a section on building a basic wardrobe just before my semi-yearly “go out shopping for some clothes that fit”…an afternoon out all by myself (sometimes spread out over two afternoons) where I replace those pieces of my wardrobe that are worn, stained and torn with new “staple” items. The inspiration I found amongst pages on organization and simplicity helped me to focus and narrow down choices and come home with basic, sensible yet pretty clothes that work well together and can comfortably take me from my mommy moments through a rare but oh-so-needed night out with my fabulous husband.

www.gap.com

1. Black Pants

The basic black pair of pants. Versatile, slimming…a necessary wardrobe staple whether you are a stay-at-home mom or a busy executive (or both, if you catch my drift). Pair with a sparkly top and heels for a night out, or a pair of ballet flats and a nice t-shirt for lunch with friends.Variations include black leggings (if you are willowy and have a stash of tunic-style shirts) and black denim or courderoy (if you just plain feel too dressed up in trousers!), or khaki or navy pants if black is just not your thing. Add a matching jacket and you have yourself a work-a-day suit!

www.cheapalicious.net

2. White Button-Down shirt

I have fun with this one…my “white button-down shirts” haven’t been your typical point-collar model for some years now. I  prefer gauzy, filmy short sleeve tops over white camisoles that I can wear under a cardigan in winter or pair with denim capris for summer. This time around I picked up a button-down with a cute ruffled collar and sweet little puckered short-sleeves.

3. Beyond Mr. Rogers: The Afore-mentioned Cardigan

My favorite? A 3/4 sleeve black button-down cardigan…this can look traditional or trendy, can be brightened up with a jewel-toned tee or, if you’re having an Audrey Hepburn moment, button it all the way up and pair with your #1 black pants. I also like to have a white one…currently with a tie front for a decorative touch. Wear over a dress to ward off a chill, or even wear over a long sleeve tee for a funky layered look. I like mine lightweight and thin…find your own style! Thick and warm, zippered, long, short, neutral, colorful…as long as it goes with most of the rest of your wardrobe, have some fun with it!

4. The Famous “Little Black Dress”

Even if you don’t like to wear black, consider adding a simple, flattering black dress to your wardrobe. Easy to dress up or down with accessories, it’s a never-fail go-to staple for both somber and festive occasions and can prevent that last-minute “I have nothing to wear to the party!” urge to spend money that isn’t really there.

www.gap.com

5. Really Great Jeans

The kind of jeans you reach for on Saturday morning. The kind that go with everything in your closet, from that old t-shirt that everyone else thinks is ready for the rag bag but you still adore to the lovely cashmere sweater that you scored on clearance at an after-Christmas sale. I like to keep a dark pair of trouser-style jeans (because they flatter my exaggerated hourglass shape and are so easy to dress up with a pretty top and a pair of heels) and a lighter pair of bootcut jeans. Take an afternoon to go try on a bunch without looking at price tags. Get to know what brands and cuts feel great and are most flattering. Write down details and descriptions. Then hit your favorite thrift stores, scour the web for online coupon codes, and don’t forget to check out ebay. Your perfect pair is out there! I was fortunate to find an adorable pair of brand-name trouser jeans at Marshall’s for $20 and a super-cute Aeropostale boot cut pair at my local consignment shop for $8. Don’t forget a cropped length for summer!

www.anthropologie.com

6. Perfect Tees

Soft and comfortable. Cool in summer. Layer with a sweater or sweatshirt for warmth. Wear with yoga pants on a sleepy Sunday afternoon or dress it up with a scarf and black trousers for work or a night out on the town. The t-shirt has become one of our most versatile wardrobe staples, and with so many wonderful styles and choices out there, you can be sure to find favorites. Skirts, jeans, shorts, dress pants…what can’t we wear a t-shirt with?? Find a few that fit and flatter, a couple solid colors that compliment your skin tone, and maybe one or two prints or patterns.

www.garnethill.com

7. Sweet Skirt

I have found that color, style, and fabric of skirts all depends on your body type. I like a mid-calf or at-the-knee length A-line skirt in a solid color, myself. Denim is a favorite…black knit has been a winner lately, too. The black knit skirt I currently wear was located on a rack of beach cover-ups! It is handy for throwing on over a suit, I admit, but I like to wear it with a t-shirt and cami and create a “fun, playful, pretty mommy” look (as to whether I am any of those things…??). I do love linen, as well, but make sure to look out for the new easy-care linen looks, or you will be wrestling with your iron for an hour before heading out the door! Have fun with color, texture and prints, because a skirt can always be complimented with a solid top. NOTE: if you are building a professional wardrobe, consider buying a matching black skirt to go with that jacket and “perfect” black trouser pants…you will have a versatile and coordinating set of garments that can be mixed and matched in minutes!

www.shopchicsteals.blogpost.com

8. Layering Tanks and Camisoles

I’m not sure why the fashion epiphany of layering garments over a white undershirt didn’t hit me until a few years ago. It certainly has been a long-standing wardrobe staple. However, once I discovered the brilliance of a white camisole or tank top for adding modesty to an otherwise low-cut shirt, providing a splash of color contrast, and smoothing out…ahem…bodily imperfections…I was hooked! I wear them under sheer shirts, v-neck tees, sweaters…just about everything.

www.whitepearlfashion.tradeindia.com

9. Sweat Suit Alternative

I am so grateful that the era of the sweat suit is, for all intents and purposes, over. I would much rather don a cute jogging suit or yoga pants and a hooded long sleeve tee. I never wore such “sporty” clothes until I started exercising more. I was so comfortable in those stretchy clothes! I started wearing a pair of cropped yoga pants with a soft t-shirt during the day as I chased my five darling children…brilliant! Why didn’t anyone ever tell me about this before? I can be as comfy as I am in my jammies and still look put together when running into the grocery store.

www.thefeeddog.com

10. Top It All Off

Time to have some fun. Time for glitz and glamour! Once you have a basic wardrobe in place, adding one or two items of shine and sparkle or something fresh and fun can spice things up without having a closet crammed with mismatched fashion disasters. True, a shimmering satin shirt suitable for an evening event isn’t going to take you from skipping around with the kids in the park to running errands to dinner with friends, but it will be there to add some glam to those black pants (in case you were wondering how important I consider a great pair of black pants to be, scroll up and see how many times they are mentioned thus far!) or skirt or jeans. How about a vintage piece? Or a unique creation from Etsy? I love knowing that once I have my foundational pieces in place, I can snag a beautiful shirt and express myself a little with how I dress without complicating my life with loads of extra clothes.

www.flickr.com

11. A Shoe-In for Success

Far be it from me to tell a gal how many pairs of shoes she should have. Personally, I’m not the shoe type…I have a few basic pairs that I like that meet my needs. I like cute shoes…I just don’t consider shoe shopping a form of therapy, nor do I care to spend my clothing budget on footwear. So let me tell you what I keep in my closet to make my wardrobe fun and functional, and leave it at that. I found a pair of black ballet style Skechers to be the most amazingly versatile shoes when we traveled to England. Thus shod I could roam the villages of Cumbria in capris and a soft tee, pound the streets of London in black pants and a cardigan, or step out for the evening in a little black dress. I also keep a pair of comfortable black dress heels, a black heeled penny loafer, sneakers, and a high-quality pair of brown sandals that I wear for at least three years, sometimes I can get four out of them. I have some others kicking around somewhere…I just don’t wear them much. These basics see me through!

www.always-accessorize.com

12. Accessorizing on a Dime

Your “basic” wardrobe will never seem boring and stale if you keep an eye out for bargain accessories. Tag sales, thrift stores and flea markets are such great places to come across treasures that will brighten your basics and give you a polished, coordinated look. Consider choosing a couple color themes and slowly build from there. For instance, you can collect silver jewelry and a lavander handbag and scarf…wear with gray, white, black or purple. A colorful orange/pink/white/green ensemble with a white shirt and denim crops can give a tropical splash of color for some summer fun. The photo above shows a beautiful set of accessories that would add pizazz to jeans and a long sweater or trousers and a blouse.

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Going about building your ideal wardrobe isn’t all that different from planning a decorating project. A limited budget does not mean lower quality results, and a haphazard and impatient approach will most likely result in a look that you are unhappy with and end up quickly replacing. I have found that trying on things that I like (though I know I cannot buy them) gives me a good idea of style and color that works best for me…trains my eye for what to watch for…a fashion education of sorts. Then I am knowledgeable enough to spot that great deal on a clearance rack or at a yard sale, without bringing home a “treasure” that winds up in the give-away pile.

I have also found that sometimes I need to spring for one high-quality, comfortable pair of pants, jeans or shoes instead of a dozen cheap ones. It may, in the end, not make one penny of difference if I shop at high-end stores and my neighbor gets her clothes at K-Mart…if her closet is jam-packed and her clothes wear out twice as fast. I am always on the lookout for pretty clothing, whether I’m making a Wal-Mart run or I’ve taken a moment of escape by ducking into a boutique. Know what you are looking for (keep a running list if need be), know your budget, and make wise and informed decisions that start with the basics and work up from there.

Happy Shopping!